chemistry, the bain of my existence

What a crappy day! First I forgot my gloves, then I got some chemical on my hand that leaves me with a blue-brown ring on my pinky finger (not the nice variety, but the I am a chemical I can burn your flesh away kind that might or might not be the cause of my death twenty years from now), then the cooler of our distillation unit broke and after we got a new one we tried for over half an hour to get a sufficient vacuum for our distillation and last but not least there was this mean lab assistant asking me all kinds of questions.

Actually we are working in groups of two, so he was asking us lots of questions. Sadly my lab partner didn’t say a danmed thing so it was on me to do the talking. As if I have any clue what to say.

In the end mean lab assistant actually gave us homework. HOMEWORK! I had not done homework since I finished school.

Man, was I tempted to just do nothing and tell him to go screw himself. But I really, really don’t want to have to do the stupid lab again which left me one option and one option only. To suck it up and do freaking homework. 

Now my bright, pretty little self knows about boiling point/pressure diagrams and the Beckmann Rearrangement.

And isn't this great!? More stuff I never wanted to know taking up valuable storage capacity in my already overflowing brain. 

Brazil 101: Round Three

Tuth: When a Brazilian is really in love and serious about a relationship he is faithful (or, as in every culture, the good ones are).
Question: How do I know whether he is serious or not?
Answer: You don’t.

Just imagine how much I laughed (please put a lot of emphasis on the sarcasm here!) when I heard that answer. Especially since I just started seeing a Brazilian. I say 'seeing' here because it is really hard for me to put a name tag on what is between us. Particularly after hearing the above mentioned. In Germany when we start a relationship with someone we automatically receive certain rights and responsibilities. These (should) include truthfulness, certain skin privileges and faithfulness. While starting into a (for lack of a better word) romantic relationship with a german guy I automatically assume that I receive them all. Otherwise it would not be considered a relationship by my standards. Also from my experience (and age) we usually do not start into a relationship without knowing whether we actually want it. Okay, so maybe we do. More often than we should, too. But even if we do, once you are in, you are in and the rules count. 
If you want out you break up and are free to do as you please. I do not believe I can expect the same from a Brazilian.

Now are you still asking why I have trouble defining that thing between us? Damn, I have the uneasy feeling that I am in for some ugly surprises.

On the bright side: I am still receiving compliments! Not from the afore mentioned guy (which is probably a bad sign) but from another brazilian friend who keeps cheering me up in my darkest moments (at least when he is not telling me: "You never know!" thereby causing my darkest moments himself).

Thank you for that!

chemistry, oh chemistry

Every woman I have ever met has tried one diet or another. All of course are doing it to lose weight. If only they knew that the best and most efficient way to do so is standing in a chemistry lab all day long!

Believe me, I tried this one myself. Not that I tried to lose weight. But it worked anyways. No better conditions than standing and walking around all day long, breathing in stinking, probably poisonous fumes, being under pressure to finish your experiments and not being allowed to eat inside the lab.

It’s the magic recipe for losing weight!

Maybe I should have chosen chemistry as my major instead of biology! But then chemists tend to be pretty full of themselves. The ones at our university are acting as if chemistry is the only true profession in the universe. Maybe it’s all the chemicals they come into contact with. It just cannot be healthy! I believe my risk of ever getting cancer skyrocketed in the past 2 weeks. Also the danger of getting a thrombosis seems to be pretty high. It’s also not very healthy for your skin.

Mine was ruined for days after I finished my inorganic chemistry lab! And I did not even have to spill the content of the Erlenmeyer flask down my lab coat.

Hmmm, maybe it’s not the best way of losing weight after all. Effective as it may be!

After inorganic chemistry we now continue with organic chemistry. With those chem labs to finish, one might think I was studying chemistry after all.

To my great relieve and my body fat percentage’s great disadvantage organic chemistry lab turns out to be not quite as bad as I had anticipated.

Yet still chemistry is not my thing. Today the lab assistant asked me to explain how I calculated the results of my experiment and I was two acetone inhalations short from telling him that

1.        I follow the instructions on how to prepare and go through with the experiment as stated in the instructions

2.       I copy the calculations from fellow students

And that

3.       I really don’t have the slightest clue what I am doing or what I am doing it for.

I might have thought about suggesting that he probably does not have an idea about the last one either.

However, instead of getting myself into trouble before a save escape from the lab is somewhere in my foreseeable future I will bite my tongue, try to avoid explaining any calculations again and stay as far away from the acetone as humanly (and laboratorically) possible.

Brazil 101: Round two

When a Brazilian asks you to his place to watch a movie you might think he is asking you to watch a movie. Please be careful though, because that is not the intention behind his request. This is just a sly, very sly way of asking whether you want to come over to make out. Which is what the whole movie thing is about. He won’t even pretend interest in a movie. He might or might not start one though. If not, he will get right to the point.

Now if someone invites me over for a movie I think they are inviting me to watch a movie, not do the horizontal tango (or samba as would be more appropriate here).

Yes, I am naïve that way. And no, I do not know what to do about it!

The only thing that comes to mind is that from now on I will try to consult with one of my male friends before making any kind of rash decisions in these regards! No meeting alone with a Brazilian!  

Unless I want to make out with him of course.

Something I just love about Brazilians though is that they have a way to make me feel good about myself. They are true ego boosters. I have never met men who were more generous with compliments. The best thing about this is that they actually mean it. They will not tell an ugly girl how beautiful she is (lie, of course). And when they say you look awesome you definitely look pretty to them.

Maybe I am just deluding myself by believing this, but I do like a good compliment just as well any other women. And ladies, come on! You will never find a man happier to pay homage to you with words than a Brazilian! They might do it to get into our pants, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the attention, right? After all who gets and who doesn’t is still up to us.

hunter... or haunted?

I found this on http://www.onlinewahn.de/b99.jpg and thought it was only suitable

There are mice in my apartment.  Small, cheeky and disturbingly pesky they are making my life hell these days. I might be studying biology (which makes everyone assume that I love animals, which I do) but when they start living in my apartment without being invited and eat my chocolate that’s when my love to animal’s stops.

I am not good with uninvited guests. Some people might call this a German trait. I call it survival instinct.

Two days ago I went into the kitchen at around 00:30. I already knew we had mice in (as in inside) the walls at that point and the man from pest control was scheduled to arrive the next day. What I did not know was that the annoying rodents had already proceeded into our kitchen. Making their way from their little nests in the wall through a tiny space underneath the sink where the pipes are placed.

So there I was in my PJs ready to call it a day when I heard that really strange sound. It didn’t sound like something was running around in my wall. I knew that sound! It was the noise my pet hamster had made in its cage every single knight for its entire life, shuffling around.

Usually I would have taken it with humor. Unfortunately I was a little sleep deprived and totally alone, so I kid of freaked out a little. Not because I am afraid of mice.

Heavens no!

But the thought of them anywhere near my food makes my limbic system go into overdrive and my pulse speed up in an angry fit!  

I very carefully looked through one drawer after another until I found the one mousy had taken residence in. Of course it was the one of my flat mate who has been on holiday for weeks now! If he hadn’t been, or one of us had used his drawer we might have noticed before. As it is I have no idea how long they have been sharing my personal space.

I hate them!

Thankfully the guy from pest control showed up the next day and put up traps everywhere. Die, stupid mice! Die!

As I said I get a little testy when someone eats my chocolate. It’s just their luck they have not touched my shoes! I would have killed every last one with my own two hands or died trying.

 Now all we have to do is wait. Right! As if it was that easy.

I have to put all my groceries in places I can’t reach without climbing a chair. I hope they die soon!

bait box

On the other hand the exterminator said that though the poisonous bait he laid out all over our flat (do not touch it says on every small white box!!!) is supposed to dry out the mice and make them look like furry little mummies (hehehe) they will probably still smell should they end up dying in the apartment. 

Die in the wall you stupid mice! Or go outside to draw your last breath! You have already caused me enough trouble!

Do I feel vicious today? Man, do I ever!

mobile schmobile

Today I went in search of a new mobile. Smartphone of course. Android required. You can definitely leave a lot of money there. Thankfully I am not the kind of person who always needs the best of the best and the newest of the new. I am content with fast, average screen size and optically attractive. I don’t even much care for the camera. Yet it is still freaking expensive!

mature, my ass

This morning my boss said I look so very mature today. Mature!? Come on! I am 24! That practically means she called me old! Or older! Either that or I usually look younger than I am, which I am fairly sure I do not. Believe me it is not a good thing to be called mature at 24. At 16 I would have been happy about it. Now? Not so much.

To make myself feel better I had to buy new nail polish. Nude pink.

It looks awesome. Probably makes me look even more mature. Right now I couldn't care less.

Brazil 101: Round One

Since that hole in my ear keeps me from swimming and me running on a treadmill is not all that interesting there was not that much to tell for a while. Basically my life has been more or less boring the past few months. My Brazilian friends left for home and took the party (and most of the gossip in my life) with them. While a few nights ago I received a text message at 2 am telling me how they were on the beach right now with temperatures around 30°C, my sorry ass is staying home preparing for exams.

Last evening however I decided to give myself a break and go to the welcome party our office holds every semester for our new foreign students. It just so happens that I met our new Brazilian exchange students during said party. It would be a lie to say it wasn’t them who inspired me to write this post.

Ladies, beware of Brazilian men! They just as soon catch your heart as they break it!

Gives the word womanizer a completely new meaning and partying to songs like ‘Ai se eu te pego’ become a completely new experience!

I’d like to think myself immune to their charms but past experiences sadly prove that I am not. Besides this I really love hanging out with them though. It’s immensely entertaining to watch them hit on girls. This time around there seems to be one in particular that might keep me entertained for months. You too, should I get around to blog about it.

Brazil 101: Round 1

First come on: “You have beautiful eyes!”

I should probably tell you that the guy who said this to me was just introducing himself so it went more like this. “Hi, my name is…. . What is your name? You have beautiful eyes!”

When I had not offered my name after five seconds flat he lost interest.

Five seconds are long enough for me to tell him how cheesy that line is but I didn’t do it. Instead I just smiled broadly, let him kiss my hand, said “Thank you” and asked my partner in crime for the evening (I’ll call him PiC from now on), who just so happened to be another Brazilian whether his friend had just tried to hit on me.

He just grinned and said: “No, he just tried to pick you up!”

I am sure I was not the first or last women he tried that line on that night.

The thing that amazes me most is the fact that it actually works!

Please note: If a Brazilian guy ever pays you a compliment it’s a huge indicator that he wants to have sex with you.

1.       Seus olhos são muito bonitas. (Your eyes are beautiful.) = Do you want to have sex?

The same pretty much applies for kissing.

Something I already knew but confirmed last night was that Brazilian men do not have any problem whatsoever with cheating on their girlfriends. None at all!

The reason: in Brazil everyone does it. I don’t know if it is the same for the girls (I am curious about that) but until the man is married he usually sleeps around. There might be exceptions, but this seems to apply to the general population.

Also I have been told, that as soon as he is married the cheating stops. Yeah right! As if I would ever believe that now!

No generalization on my blog though (cough, cough).
Of course the compliment thing also goes the other way around.

Now I do not have a problem telling a guy with really good aftershave that he smells good, especially when we are good friends. I usually just so happen not to have any hidden agenda’s when I say something like that. Now if you tell that to a Brazilian, I was once told, it is impolite because it is so very direct and to say things directly in Brazil seems to be impolite. (This probably means I should never go there…)Now it seems that the friend who told me this was not completely honest. Maybe he was embarrassed or scared to tell me the truth, but it seems that to tell someone he smells good is considered totally hot.

So for all you desperate ladies out there:

2.       Eu gosto de seu cheiro. (You smell good.) = I do so want to have sex with you!

Now the next thing I leaned was less sexual and a lot nicer. When PiC first taught me this one I was not quite sure what to do with it because Brazilians seem huge on compliments and small on commitment. So when he taught me to say I like you I was a little confused.

Turns out he was trying to even out my vocabulary or something. Please remember to only tell this to a person you have a serious relationship with. At least that is what I gathered.

3.       Eu gosto de ti! / Eu gusto de vôce! (I like you!) = I like you.

No hidden meaning in this one!

I did ask however why you would use vôce to tell someone you like them. As it turns out you can use either. Vôce or tu, it doesn't matter. At least in this case it doesn't.

I also learned that in Brazil they make following distinctions concering the relationships between men and women:

1.       amigo – friend means friend means friend. Totally platonic and completely save!

2.       Amizade colorida – colorful friendship, or for more direct people: friends with benefits. This usually refers to really good friends who have sex and nothing/ nada/ niente (and with this I mean nothing at all) more.

3.       Ficando - staying friends . Now this one is more complicated. Personally I laughed my ass off. Basically ‘ficando’ is a trial period for a relationship where you see whether you fit together and whether you want to take the relationship to the next level or not. Please don’t ask me why they need a period like this. I mean you can break up any time any ways and since there seems to be cheating whether the relationship is serious or not I quite frankly don't see the point. But hey, to each their own.

4.       Namorada/namorado – girlfriend/boyfriend or the couple thing. It seems that when you are in a relationship cheating is normal but not a necessity. This means some guys are faithful… most are not. By the way: From my observation kissing s not considered cheating.

5.       Noivado – the engagement. It seems in Brazil cheating is a national tradition for I am told it is ‘all right’ until you are married…and I am sure even than the hermanos are still arguing the point with god and their wives. The reason I decided to mention this point is not the engagement period but how it is ended. Aka the bachelor/bachelorette part:

5.1. The bachelor party – instead of a stripper the lucky Brazilian grooms get a hooker. I was told this is a very big secret. Obviously the men in Brazil have been so secretive that no woman has ever figured out that the bachelor parties are held in a whorehouse. Since I could not quite belive this, I asked for a second opinion and was told that they know, but since there is nothing much they can so they choose to ignore it. Since this seems a lot more plausible to me I personally tent toward this explaination.

5.2. The bachelorette party – instead of a stripper they get the bride chocolate genitals. I guess this might be right on occasion but this information is from a guy so I am not quite sure how far I can trust it. I don’t think he has ever been to a bachelorette party so I doubt he knows everything that is going on. Chances are the girls get their bride a callboy. That would only be fair, after all.